workshop

uiuc workshop
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Are you happy?

Happiness started to walk away from the time when we were born.
I have heard more than once that somebody says "life is so boring". Why don't we have a better life after all those education and struggling?
When I first got the chance to dance,I felt very happy. When the first time, I recited a poem my kindergarten teacher taught me, my mother felt very happy.
But later, those things just became routine. Gradually, my expectation of happiness became higher and higher. Everyone has similar experience. But in that way, I would miss the happy time all the way in my life. I would not feel happy when I should have and I would regret on the day when there's no tomorrow left for me.
Only compared to hardship could one really notices the existence of happiness.
I can feel happy everyday now because I know I would be very unhappy without my lover. But now he is with me all the time. Maybe sometimes we face difficulties or we have to work hard, the most important thing is that we are together.

Why they like food in restaurants?

A Chinese couple like to eat out everyday in restaurants. Sometimes, they come to this one. They will order four or five dishes- even for three persons(they have a toddler), that's a lot. But the wife is a big person and she likes to eat more than her husband, I blieve. She has two big moles on her face--one at the beginning of the left eyebrow and another at the end of it. They are so big that everytime I look at her, I am attracted by the moles. So lets call her "Mrs. Mole".
Mr. Mole is a good husband. When the baby started to kick or cry, he will hug him and walk outside on the street to make the baby happy while Mrs. Mole is goggling at the table.
Another time, I saw Mrs. Mole walked on the street and her husband followed her one meter behind, with the baby in his arms. They like to change restaurants everyday. The restaurants are their kitchen. When getting bored in one, they try another one.
But they never cook food for themselves.
I cannot understand why people would like do that. Of course, when I was working, I'd like to go out with my colleagues or friends occasionally or maybe every noon. But I will still leave some time to prepare food by myself. If you eat out every meal, what will you do if you want to celebrate something? Another concern is that the food from restaurants not always as clean as they look.
The forks, plates and cups are washed by a man you will never have the chance to meet. They hide at the back of the kitchen and do all kinds of dirty jobs there. With a good chance, he may be a Mexican who never takes medical examination. He may get bored to wash dishes everyday and wash them in a careless way--just imagine how hard it is for you to wash your own plates cleanly. Therefore, some dirt or detergent may stay.The process to make a dish is so complex that any step may go wrong without noticed. The raw material may be put in the same cart that you ever throw your plates in after meals. The food may be fried in dirty oil. The cook may tasted or touched the food. The food may fell on the ground, be picked up to the plate and sent to the table. Even worse, they may not use a board to cut food. They may directly cut it on the table where they put dirty dishes.
The possibility to get diseases from restaurants is higher if you go to them too often. You can never trust those out-sourcings if you know exactly how they works.

Perfect Life

My life appears full of conflicts. My parents never feel satisfied the way I am.

When I got my job, they thought the place is too far from home and the job itself does not include a social security or pension after my retirement, which would be 30 or 40 years later, of course.

My mother always feel anxious about the future and hopes everything would turn out better in the future, which, under most situations, is not the case. But she stubbornly chooses to live her life in the future. She always believe that if she says something to me, my life would be better than hers, which could in turn make her life more brilliant. That is why she always turns to those greedy and inorgrant fortune tellers, who will always tell her what she wants to hear or give her some bullshit advices. And I turn out to be the major victim of those endless bullshits since whenever my mother is not satisfied with something, she will spend some money on fortune tell. And when she returns, she prepares loads of suggestions for me.

For examply, just a few days ago, she told me that before I went to US, she consulted a fortune teller who said that it would be better I do not. "Now you lose your job and you cannot go to college for your F1 visa, what you gonna do with your future?" I answered her calmly:"Since when you started to miss my former job? Do you still remember what you used to say when I was in that position? " She used to say that I have no future in that job and earn much less compared to others.

She thinks her words makes my life better, however, if I could care her less and neglect what she said , I would not have to suffere so much pain everyday. But she is my mother and unfortunately, I partly inherited and partly adopted her philosophy of life. Deep in my heart, I want to reach her expectation for me, live the way she wants me to live. Nevertheless, when I grow older everyday, I realized that I can never reach her expectation. There is always something new pop up in her mind. Even if I am a super-woman, she can still have plenty of critics.

Besides the conflict between my parent and I , there's a new and more complicated one. When I engaged with my husband-to-be, I noticed something odds going on. The two families, where I and my husband respectively came from, rarely communicate with each other. There's no welcome, kind atmosphere when they gather together. To me, it is clear that they are together not because they like to be but because they must, because it is required by custom and tradition, and because if they don't, rumours would fly everywhere in the village. My father and his father did not like each other at all and they do not have one single common interest or topic, what's more, they never want to develop one. My mother-in-law cannot wait to raise her grandchildren and I am responsible to fulfill this dream for her. But I have no plan to rush to bear a baby. This leads to more tension.I should have thanked the heaven that they have not yet fight with each other for once. Every time when I call them seperately, I feel the deep indifference if not hatred between them. They rarely mentioned each other. Like two seperate circles, the single and delicate connect point of the two family is the love between my husband and I. That is not what I want.

Some people will say 'I am living a happy life', whether it is true or not. But I even do not have the strength to lie.

All about meat

This is my first try of podcast.
So much fun:)